Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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