you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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