Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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