mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
