I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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