whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
