DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
