make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
did i just pee glitter
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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