So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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