new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
