btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think im going to throw up on grandma
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
