Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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