He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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