i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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