I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
