Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
