would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
