You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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