I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
