I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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