you turned your livingroom into a bong?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
