FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
