In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
