Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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