just tell him i said nine months
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
