Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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