I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
