we have officially mastered the walk of shame
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
