I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
