dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
it was like eating out sand paper
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
