Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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