Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
