He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
