at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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