what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
