wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
