Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
