Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
