i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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