Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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