Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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