U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
