I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
