the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
