I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
where are you?
Hypothermia
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
