We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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