The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
