Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
