so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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