he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
