I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
