I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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