Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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