No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
