4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i drank out of a bidet.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
