I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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