the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
