I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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