glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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