it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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