i don't like sucking hair
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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