Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
