We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
